Deer in the Headlights

Thanks goes to Ina Branco for the inspiration.

Right to the lightless heart of night I drove:
Not to waste an instant have I had a right.
And as the road lead me through the grove,
A silhouette ahead have caught my sight

It was a doe I saw, young, tall and fair,
All clad in glamour, the forest's rose —
With eyes blinded by my headlight flare,
In tracks directly on my path she froze.

And so did very time then freeze as well,
It came to stand as if it was made to show
Me the glimpse of animal's dire awe in swell
One slice of moment before the blow.

The fawn was standing still, bereft of fear,
In bold acceptance with her tragic lot,
Emotionless, despite death approaching near,
It was not in motion she was caught.

Deer, said I, please make your leave,
You'll stay unscathed if you step away!
Speed's high: an impact won't let you live,
It is too late for car to change its way.

But nothing was my answer, just her eyes
Have closed to show that fate was sealed,
Like if our touch would her award some prize,
For that, the pain would not make her yield.

The time grew bored, reluctant it went on
Foreseenably the contact was brief indeed,
In fearsome maw of doom my doe was thrown,
The car had got nothing but a minor skid.

Involountary hangman, had I then to halt
And seek her out, yet maybe still alive?
My hurry whispered that suicide's not my fault,
I've shed a tear and kept on my drive.

You are my theme for a dream

And thus I have sinned. I fail to keep the distance. You are becoming less and less abstract with each passing hour. You, my beacon of fantasy, you the a priori unreachable dream. With trembling heart I am to witness illusion fuse with fact, the sanity vows for action while the feeling is left paralyzed. Patch by patch, the fairy fleshes, filling the perception gaps and correcting the wrong guesses.

Should I watch the muse succumb to the mortal coil, move on and paint another face on the banner of mine? May it be nobler in the mind if I let the word lose and let the vibrant feeling violently crush against subjectively unfortunate reality? Being a man is all about taking the risks and the responsibility, but how is it even remotely wise to charge headlong into the realm of certain impossibility where all slightest chances have long withered? Yet I dare. Yet I do dare to dream at night. I dream and sincerely I can't help it. Yes, I have sinned.

I will not allow myself backstabbing what little relationship we may still have for no reason. I'm mad, but I ain't no fool. Given a spare world, I just would love to have been in love with you, no matter what future holds for us.