Posts tagged with “science”

June 02

You, the reference

God created an universe of quanta, physics says. It is said that the reason dominates the consequence in value, and the lower the level organisation is, the close it is to the final truth. In a perfect world we would dig this mine until we eventually obtain that one fundamental level of Creation and be happy proclaiming science being a complete knowledge. Yet, the more we learn, the more likely this search seems to be infinite in the purest meaning of the word. There just may happen not to be any principal base point and the onion of the matter structure nesting may propagate in both directions just indefinitely. In all this complexity I am frequently lost. Head carried away by the wild kaleidoscope of deep philosophy and just false thoughts, I helplessly slip down on my knees struggling to regain the assurance of being a human. Give me a hand and let me declare you the ultimate reference.

You can trace all your thoughts and actions back to biological origin. By sequential application of natural science of various level you can decompose but everything within your mind into a long chain of causal relations, unless you get unluckily trapped into the quantum paradoxes. Conscience, character, feeling — all forged in neural plexi as a complex reaction on stimuli. Every a your deed can probably be predicted, yet in all this behavioural noise I can sketch out your soul, an essence of yours, if you would, whether it exists as a separate entity or not. For if I am how can you not be per se? Cogito ergo sum and therefore you are as well by the same logic. Finally, I just want to lift all the view angle resolution away. I just want you to be my reference point.

All I ask you is to be. To be real. To be my world.

05:39 | Comments | Tags: , , , , , , ,
September 13

High Time

It may seem that some divine force is there to teach me a lesson every time I misstep and stumble away from the path I originally drew for myself. A sudden burst of emotion, a doubt and desire and my world goes upside down immediately. Here, the mind comes into play only to strangle any feeling in cold blood. A sparkle of sun, an electric flash, and the deliberate return to the wet and gray of autumn streets. A doubt. A strong rail of predestination in this life weakens with every step down to the point where I am almost ready to jump off this reliable train into the pure wilderness, granting a small beam of what's called the «the taste of life». To be honest, I'm not successful in the other, scientific aspect of life either. What I'm left are only shards of my childish genius, the dusty remnants of knowledge and quick mind yet to fall in rust. Year after another, things get worse. Have I had a rich, happy student years to justify the lack of progress? Not at all. I lived as in the sheath of a great goal illusion. The road I try to keep becomes more and more harsh and missensual, I am not even sure now that I'm not marching off-road. Not a big deal, I can wait. But it dreads me to acknowledge that I may already have irreversibly lost this life all because of pride preventing to admit that I am no gem, but a regular mortal idiot. Life has teased me with a candy but the cost I can't allow myself to afford. As usual.
07:26 | Comments | Tags: , , ,